Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Domestic Abuse Part 3

As I have shared a few posts about Domestic Violence it brings up some heavy topics for me. I’d like to share some more with you today and in the coming weeks. Domestic Violence should be talked about. It should be exposed.

Most people think of physical abuse when they think of domestic violence, a lot of people are not aware that emotional abuse is also domestic violence. There are many people right now in relationships and they have no idea they are being emotionally abused. They may think something does not feel right but they have no clue their being manipulated and abused daily. This is the sneaky part of domestic violence.

This reminds me of a situation a friend of the family was in. She was in the middle of a big move. She was moving out of state. She decided to move in with an aunt and uncle for a few months before her move. She had originally thought this would be a great idea. She could take care of last minute issues and save some money. She had no idea she would leave there “changed”.

She was not there very long before she started telling me about her aunt and uncle. They had never lived close to her growing up so she had no idea what she was getting herself into. She began to notice that her aunt completely catered to a man who screamed at her on a daily basis. Her aunt would have his coffee in the cup, ready for him to drink before he even pulled in after work. He had a certain chair she would make sure it was empty and waiting for him. If her aunt wanted to lay down while he was at work she called and basically asked his permission. He would tell her what he wanted clean and her aunt would set out early each morning to get the chores accomplished as quickly as she could.

My friend's uncle was a big lazy man. He even had his wife down under the house doing things it seemed a man should be doing. My friend said he would sit on his thrown all day telling stories about people he beat up, people who were afraid of him and even the police didn’t mess with him so he said. If he was not telling these tough guy stories he would talk dirty. He would talk like this to other women right in front of his wife. She never said anything to him.

This was all quite disturbing to me. I told my friend I worried about her but I also thought someone needed to ask her aunt why she stayed with this person. After my friend had been there a couple months she confided that even she was beginning to feel like she was locked up. Her uncle wanted to know her every move, he even listened to her phone conversations. My friend began to understand that all his stories and talks were not only meant to make himself feel macho he was trying to beat her down and make her as timid and afraid as her aunt. He manipulated people into thinking he was helping them in some way but he was the one really being benefited. My friend said she was scared it might actually be working, she felt intimidated by him. He was even successful at making her feel unsure of herself, she started questioning her ability to take care of herself. Her uncle wanted her to stay on with them instead of move. I hated to see my friend leave but I was really happy she was strong enough to put her foot down and make her own decision. She told me later some of the family tried helping her aunt at the time. She refused to leave her husband. I find it so sad that some people are just beat down so far they don’t think they can make life decisions on their own. Even my friend mentioned putting herself in therapy after her move.

Educate yourself on the signs of emotional abuse. It is better to be prepared. Often emotional abuse can quickly turn into physical abuse. It’s all about someone’s toxic need to have control and power over another individual. Emotional abuse can be so much more harmful because it can undermine what we think about ourselves. As I have described here, emotional abuse can happen between any two people.

  • Does anyone in your life make fun or degrade you in front of others?
  • Is anyone telling you that your feelings are wrong?
  • Are they making you feel like they are always right?
  • Do they belittle your accomplishments?
  • Do they call you names?
  • Do they play the victim to deflect the blame?

    We should all be living our best lives... don’t let another person beat you down or make you feel less... Abusers are usually people who have unresolved issues in their lives that cause them to be harmful to others.

    If you or someone you know is being affected by domestic violence call 1-800-787-3224 Or visit the hotline.org

    What are your thoughts on this topic?
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