Sunday, June 2, 2019

Setting the Table: Part 1 in a Domestic Violence Series

In many of the cases, I have researched to share here on the blog via Missing Mondays, I have noticed a disturbing trend. I have decided that I am going to share my thoughts because I think more people should be talking about this issue.

The issue I want to address in this post is are parents setting the table for disasters to happen? Allow me to explain what I am referring to. To give you an understanding I will start with a recent trial I followed along with.

The trial I followed was about the murder of 2-week old Caliyah McNabb. Her parents Christopher Mcnabb and Courtney Bell were found guilty of her murder. There was a difference in the charges. Christopher McNabb was found guilty of the actual murder of Caliyah. He was convicted to a life without the possibility of parole. Courtney, however, was charged with second-degree murder.

As the judge explained it was not that Courtney Bell knew, planned or even anticipated the death of her infant daughter. It was that she created an environment that caused her children to be second and Christopher McNabb to be first.

As authorities investigated this case they learned that Courtney was addicted to methamphetamines. She and Mr. McNabb were first cousins, some report that they were married but I'm not sure that they really were. Christopher McNabb was always running around with different girls while Courtney chased after him. He abused her and would physically fight with others in the home with her and her children present. Courtney often left the children with other family members to chase after Christopher.

I suspect that Courtney is not an evil person. I say that even as I agree with the judge, Courtney should have a consequence for setting the table for disaster.

There are many cases similar to that of Christopher McNabb and Courtney Bell. Parents, both mothers and fathers setting the table for disasters.

Right now there is a current case, oddly enough the child's name is Maleah. She is missing. Her stepfather has been arrested. There are many inconsistencies and straight up lies in his story of what happened. After a few interviews the mother is now saying she was going to leave him. Did she set the table for disaster?

I'm not sure what the answers should be. I don't think every case deserve the same outcome. I do, however, believe there are too many incidents where the table is being set for disaster. I think these certain cases should be high lighted and exposed as much as possible.

People need to realize that if they have children and they are dating they have a responsibility to their children. There are so many resources available for mental health and domestic violence.

I have a few blog posts I would like to share with you about Domestic Violence. I chose this to be the first because I believe there are those that set the scene for domestic violence to occur. They need to share in some of the consequences and above all get the help that they obviously, need. There are those that get Child Protection called to their homes frequently before a tragedy happens. Are these not red flags?

These are just some of the thoughts I have had after sharing some of the Missing Monday posts. I know its heavy and it is dark..but as parents I feel we have to give it some attention and ask ourselves are there any answers out there that would save the lives of these precious little ones. Could there have been anything done to prevent such a tragedy?

Don't misunderstand, not everyone dates a monster. There are some wonderful step parents out there. There are just those that need to take more care in the signs that may be visible in the beginning. A good question is with some of these cases should the parent be responsible for not noticing the signs, for ignoring the sign? Should there be more done on a state level, as an example I think mental health should be included in some way (maybe kindness?) right from the start of kindergarten?

I hope I have come across in an understandable way. I feel like we should be searching for more answers to these incredibly horrible cases. My heart breaks for each of these children.

My prayers go out to anyone in a Domestic Violence situation. There is hope. You don't have to set the table and remain seated.

Call the National Domestic Hotline at 1-800-799-7233

What are your thoughts?


  1. I was caught in a horrible situation. Luckily a friend and my sons got me away.

    1. I am very pleased to hear that, thank goodness for support!

  2. Make a detailed plan & get out. You will thank yourself later.

  3. Yes, I see in news articles how this happens sometimes. It is sad because it seems more likely that the outcome could have been much better if they had gotten help and left the abusive situation before it got worse.

  4. Good advice its important to get away.